One year ago today, my heart melted for him...

A year ago today,
I met the man of my dreams.
It's crazy how time flew by.

We brought in a new year with our first kiss
And now we're letting go of an incredible year with another loving kiss.

I would of never thought in my wildest dreams that this year would turn out the way it has.
It's crazy how I'm still crazy about him.
Feels like I've known him for years and years.
But still as much in love with him as our first months together.
I've never felt anything like this.
It's amazing.
Incredible.
It really feels like I'm in a Disney fairy tale story.
I wouldn't change it for the world.

I can't even describe it, that's love though.
He went over to my house today at 4 am to drop off a love letter. It was so unexpected.
I can't stop smiling and glowing.
I've never felt this happy before
Many people envy us, we have something that people want and need in their lives.
Some go their whole lives without it, some claim to have experienced it, others, the lucky ones, have it and won't ever let go of it.

I used to believe I've experienced it and had it in my life, but I was so wrong, I never knew what it was until my knight in shinning armor showed up at my doorstep Dec. 31st, 2009.

Fate brought us together.
He's my dream come true, and I never want to wake up ;)
Just last night, I mentioned to my mother, "this is the man I'm going to marry, I know I'll waking up in his arms for the rest of my life."

The great thing about it is that he feels exactly the same way.
He's the most loving, caring, handsome, cute, funny, and one in a million kind of boyfriend.

Happy One Year Anniversary baby!

P.S.
I love you

"Deep within the corners of my mind..."

My small neighborhood.
Terrorized by a murderer.
If they only knew who it was, I knew, somehow I knew.
His main targets: pets.
Night after night a dog or a cat was found gruesomely killed and tortured.
I knew who I'd point my finger to.
I knew who would get sure mere amusement of such a disgusting thing.

He wasn't young or old. 56.
Name, unknown.
Gray beard. Thin.
In a green button-up shirt smeared with dry blood.
Khaki pants which have been torn by days and days of use.
Friendly until you read "his book" not only his "front cover".

22nd of October, cold and quiet night.
Moon plain in sight through the pure white clouds.
The smell of emptiness surrounded the streets.
The touch of fog came upon us slowly but surely.
As the night progressed, as I entered my sacred home of relaxation, there he was.
Sitting in a bar stool across my reach.
Looking down at a small kitten comfortably laying in his hand. Petting it with the other.
The kittens ears, cut off. But still held joy to be in the hands of his owner.

Hands covered with blood.
Never acknowledged my presence.
Saw the room as it was, nothing more, nothing less.
He stood from his previous position.
He stood there watching me.
Focused on my hands and feet.
Suddenly the kitten disappeared.

The rush of adrenaline excited my nerve endings. Numb.
You never know the feeling until you get it...
at that moment I became a murderer.
I began to beat him endlessly. Without any remorse.
Without a sense of being human.

The only words that would dare slip out his mouth were, "I'm just the beginning...", up until my foot hit with full force breaking his sternum and fracturing the lower part of his ribs.
The break of his sternum made his words disappear into harsh grunts.
He laid on the floor.
He kept softly uttering the words, "I'm just the beginning...".
I stepped back. Catched my breath.

As I step back I see what appears to be a wooden baseball bat, a Louisville Slugger, leaning against a white wall.
An idea.
A few steps arrived me to the bat. I held it in my hands.
The rush of adrenaline, disgusted excitement and of vendetta came from within me.

He's still there. Lying there.
Justice in my own hands?
I lifted the bat high above my head, took a step back, the bat broke the air and landed on his muscle-covered femur. Bruising it instantly.
Grunt after grunt was followed after each painful crack of bone.

I stood over him.
Above his back. Looking down at him.
An advantage. The Louisville Slugger nicely fitted in my hands.
The perfect opportunity. To relieve from his "duties" forever.
I held the bat high above my head so it will land straight on his skull.
As I held it high, the bat broke my grip and fell into the floor.

Becoming a monster wasn't in my future.
I gave up my physical strength to show my weakness, my inner strength.
I couldn't sink lower than the 56 year old murderer.


And this is where my dream decided to end its book.
Very interesting, creepy none the less.

Insomnia never sleeps, so why should we?

Why do the thoughts of earlier days that made you angry, upset, and sad come to you when you're about to lay down, close your eyes, relax your body and rest your mind.

Is it because we have a room all to ourselves covered from wall to wall in darkness?
Or is our subconscious trying to tell us something? Converse with us in some way.

"If we believe that we're all alone in this world, know that we're together in that too, nobody who is alone is alone. There are many people feeling the same stranded-ness that you're feeling right now."
It's just a matter of how you see it, your perspective.

Do you have the similar problem? I mean, having those thoughts come back to you while you lay down your sword and shield for the day.

"I'm leaving for a destination that I still don't know..."

I used to come here to get things off my chest. To come back in the future and remember how I felt when I wrote this...

Now I feel as if I can't do that here. I'm trying, I am, I'm trying to get back into it.
Trying to find the writer in me that's currently in a writer's "union" just boycotting any work.

Don't know why but it feels like something is stopping me. Never had this before. Hoping it goes away...

Have you noticed that I've been using the word "feel" very often...haha weird.

"...help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world."

Recently I've been thinking about my past.
Why?
It should be behind me already, I've already put it behind me.
I've cut myself off from the past just so it can only be a memory.
And that's all it's supposed to be...
(trying to get back to writing, thought this could be a start, because it was too long for a post on facebook and twitter lol)

Editor's Note:
Little experiment is on its way, I'm pretty excited.
A blog almost everyday of how love still exists in mankind.
How it affects me everyday, how my special someone affects me everyday.
Stay tuned.

If you were seeking people to work for your company...

...would you hire let's say Person A, who does what the position requires amazingly, let's say a hair stylist; the person who is applying for the job styles hair and creates great work of art naturally.
They were born to do what they are applying for.
-plus this gives your company much more customer intake and much more money.
But has no job experience or degrees in that field.

or

would you hire Person B, who has had many jobs, has a degree in "hair styling" but they are bad at what they trained to do. What they studied isn't for them, they should of reconsidered or even thought twice of getting training in that field. They flat out suck.
-and if you do hire this person it will lower the number of customers and of course what we all need...money.
But you only hired Person B because of his long (with many jobs and so much education) resume.

Of course, naturally, you'd hire Person A...

if only the job market would view employees this way...

I never knew having something stolen could ever feel this good...

Happiest I've ever been.

He's my one in a million.

I first talked to him around mid June…and you wouldn't believe it where… on Twitter.

And as luck would have it, he read one of my blogs, that commented on a guy I was lusting over. To keep the guys name in secret I used the first letter of his name, "E". As a little joke for myself, I mentioned the guy as "Mr. E" (mystery). lol

Which just happened to be my now boyfriend's username on Twitter! He thought I was talking about him, I explained, and exchanged numbers. Ha ha

But I paused what was going between myself and him, due to some issues that occurred during mid-late ’09. It took 6 months to regain communication with him. He asked me to be his date for New Years Eve. I hesitated, what went through my mind was: relationships that begin from meeting online are a complete failure and never "hit it off". After all, I said yes. Something my parents weren't so ok with.

As the day became night on the 31st of December my legs became shaky, my appetite was lost, and my stomach was filled up to the top with those cute white with pink butterflies. Then, the door bell rang.(Falling in love wasn't my plan but who am I to fight it) I walked out of my house, saw him for the first time and asked myself one question, "is this real?" He took my breath away, in a good way, though. I couldn't believe the night, it felt unreal. Midnight struck and so did our first kiss. Now I knew it was all but a dream. Incredible, if I might add.

As each day passes, we realize how a simple "yes" changed both of our lives in so many beautiful ways that we can only imagine. We both thought none of this love would ever come knocking at our door, but if I remember it quite well, he actually rang the door bell and didn't knock. :)

I was recently asked, "is he what you imagined a boyfriend to be?" I replied, "No. He's even better than I imagined." A smile followed.

They say things always happen for a reason, nothing comes into your life without a purpose. I've always understood and believed this saying, but now I know for a fact that "The Man up in The Heavens" puts you through courses or paths in life that have a meaning.

"Let's take the necessary steps to be each other's God's Best" -Unknown

"I love you today more than yesterday and tomorrow more than today." -Eric =)

He stole my heart.