Recently, I've been having an enormous amount of luck in some part of my life. The part of my life I thought didn't exist. Now it's glowing more than ever.
I'm happy to say that now I'm on the right track, enjoying life to the fullest, loving and remembering every laugh, trying to make each day better than the one before.
-Enjoying so much of the present that it's hard to see and make out what lies in the future.
Events have come up nonstop. I do wish that the rest of this summer will be the same way. Been with many friends these past weeks, something that strikes me as odd. When we were in school we never took time to be together, but now that we don't see each other as often we hang out as much as we can. Something we normally didn't do together("partay" lol).
Those "awful things" have come back again to haunt me, just when I started to be the grown up and achieving the privacy that I needed in my life. Will I ever overcome them? Maybe too soon to find out, hopefully and prayerfully I will. But, I guess, it's what makes me me!
On the other hand, life has been fair; before I never had most of the things I have now, but if you just wait...it'll all come to you. . .in time.
Thinking that now in August I'm going to be surrounded by people more mature, more understanding of what's around them. Maybe I'll get "lucky". Nothing like high school, thank God.
Halfway done with orientation, I have a math teacher/tutor who knows nothing about math. When I'm there I go to sleep or daydream, if not she'll confuse and make me question Mrs. Chacon! [the best math teacher in high school]
Been feeling great emotionally and mentally but so tired physically. Doing too much, more than what my body was used to. Love it!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Update.
Plans. Plans. And more plans.
Looking for an apartment (looking but possibly won't buy none, but wanting to. No money, none at all.), summer plans, college(excited about that one), looking for a job...just to sum up a few.
Wondering how many of you actually sit there and read this. (Dean, thank you.)
And realizing that I have to stop treating this blog as if it were some kind of college essay or newspaper column.
I've learned to appreciate the true things around me, friends for one. Graduation is just around the corner, I can taste it! I'm so excited to leave all this life behind and move on to greater and better things.
I recently registered for New Student Orientation at UTEP, pretty freaking excited!
My dad isn't so enthused and optimistic about me going to college. Weird, huh? He wants me to just get a small 6 to 8 month career, and get on with my life like that. I somewhat knew and prepared myself for it because I just know how he is. I basically don't like sharing my life with my father, so some of you now know why I come to you and explain events in excruciating details. My mom on the other hand just doesn't have time...my sister, just wants
you to hear her out but when it comes to you, she becomes uninterested. Funny, actually; I've come to cope and mend with it. That's why I would go to him often, but now, there's nothing to talk about or we just don't talk.
Ah, but what the heck.
Found new great/amazing people to express myself, and they actually take the time to hear me out.
Only 6 more days left of high school. Everyone is trying to finish up their yearbook signatures. Trying to keep grades up. Watching movies in every class now or just having "end of the year" parties. I've been visiting teachers that I've had throughout the years, it's been good seeing them, remembering good memories in their classroom. Some I will miss. Others...ehh.
I will surely miss the daily routine, but I think I'm positive I'll find another along the way.
Looking for an apartment (looking but possibly won't buy none, but wanting to. No money, none at all.), summer plans, college(excited about that one), looking for a job...just to sum up a few.
Wondering how many of you actually sit there and read this. (Dean, thank you.)
And realizing that I have to stop treating this blog as if it were some kind of college essay or newspaper column.
I've learned to appreciate the true things around me, friends for one. Graduation is just around the corner, I can taste it! I'm so excited to leave all this life behind and move on to greater and better things.
I recently registered for New Student Orientation at UTEP, pretty freaking excited!
My dad isn't so enthused and optimistic about me going to college. Weird, huh? He wants me to just get a small 6 to 8 month career, and get on with my life like that. I somewhat knew and prepared myself for it because I just know how he is. I basically don't like sharing my life with my father, so some of you now know why I come to you and explain events in excruciating details. My mom on the other hand just doesn't have time...my sister, just wants
you to hear her out but when it comes to you, she becomes uninterested. Funny, actually; I've come to cope and mend with it. That's why I would go to him often, but now, there's nothing to talk about or we just don't talk. Ah, but what the heck.
Found new great/amazing people to express myself, and they actually take the time to hear me out.
Only 6 more days left of high school. Everyone is trying to finish up their yearbook signatures. Trying to keep grades up. Watching movies in every class now or just having "end of the year" parties. I've been visiting teachers that I've had throughout the years, it's been good seeing them, remembering good memories in their classroom. Some I will miss. Others...ehh.
I will surely miss the daily routine, but I think I'm positive I'll find another along the way.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Terrified.
Some of you might not know but I'm pretty frightened at the fact that maybe I'm one exam away of possibly having brain surgery.
Being a bit rash, and conclusive and might not even happen that way. But...
Today I have my EEG appointment at 8 a.m. Reading what's going to happen during the exam. Because of it, I have to stay awake 24 hrs.
Scared shitless.
You know, you don't grow up thinking that maybe someday you'll subject yourself to having "open brain surgery".
It's pretty tough, wishing that some of you were there to support me. But I'm somewhat obligated to keep it on the down low. (posting it up online isn't really keeping it on the DL lol)
I keep it to myself because it really isn't a matter that I want the whole public to be aware of, might get treated differently, the whole stereotyping deal and what not.
It's tough to write all this, 'cause every sentence I get ahold of, I begin to cry. And as we speak as well.
I really hope that none of you go through a time like this...ever.
But even though all this is going on I still live life with incredible optimism and happiness.
"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."
Being a bit rash, and conclusive and might not even happen that way. But...
Today I have my EEG appointment at 8 a.m. Reading what's going to happen during the exam. Because of it, I have to stay awake 24 hrs.
Scared shitless.
You know, you don't grow up thinking that maybe someday you'll subject yourself to having "open brain surgery".
It's pretty tough, wishing that some of you were there to support me. But I'm somewhat obligated to keep it on the down low. (posting it up online isn't really keeping it on the DL lol)
I keep it to myself because it really isn't a matter that I want the whole public to be aware of, might get treated differently, the whole stereotyping deal and what not.
It's tough to write all this, 'cause every sentence I get ahold of, I begin to cry. And as we speak as well.
I really hope that none of you go through a time like this...ever.
But even though all this is going on I still live life with incredible optimism and happiness.
"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."
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